Read Write and Edit - Hedge Words

Choosing Words to Create Worlds

We've seen them. We've used them. Those words that pull us back from the edge, keep us from laying out our emotions or descriptions in full, unapologetic fashion.

What are these words that constrain us and confine our emotions?

I call them hedging words. As writers, we produce a scene and infuse it with passion and high tension and then, bam! we back off. As if we're ashamed of the emotion we've let loose.

Examples of hedging words?

seemed a bit almost mostly

a little nearly perhaps kind of

somewhat sort of

There are others. There always are.

But why use them?

Why not say Ginger smelled like a cesspool after an outbreak of flu instead of Ginger smelled a bit like a cesspool. . . ?

Compare:

He was kind of like that old, wrinkled man in the classic horror movies.

His face bore the same wrinkled skin as that old man in the classic horror movies.

Compare:

Angus seemed more than a little agitated.

Angus was pissed off.

Or even better, Angus kicked the door in.

Hedging words are not wrong words. Any of these can be used and used effectively. For example, in one story, Angus's seeming agitation could be a good use of sarcasm. But if you find yourself holding back, not committing to the emotion or intensity of the scene, consider rewriting. Remove non-committal words. Say what you mean to say and let your characters speak and act freely, without a censor. You're not likely to get punched for the words your characters speak, even though they might. Ratchet up the tension and drama and see where it leads.

This is your opportunity to let emotions seethe and passion rule. That insult you always wanted to yell at another driver? Let it out. Those ardent love words? Put them in someone's mouth. Don't hold back.

See if writing in absolutes doesn't add both life and depth to your work.†